The 8 Qualities of a Wealthy Woman|
by Suze Orman
What keeps women from achieving the financial security they -- and their families -- deserve? I believe the root of the problem lies in the dysfunctional relationship women have with money.
That's the launching point for my new book, "Women & Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny." My message to all women: Owning the power to control your destiny requires more than 401(k)s and Roth IRAs. It requires reconditioning from the inside. In this excerpt from "Women & Money," I discuss the eight qualities of wealthy women.
Qualities 1 and 2: Harmony and Balance
Harmony is an agreement in feeling, approach, and sympathy. It is the pleasing interaction between what you think, feel, say, and do.
Balance is a state of emotional and rational stability in which you are calm and able to make sound decisions and judgments.
Harmony and balance are perhaps the most important qualities of all, for they serve as the foundation for the remaining qualities. When you possess true inner harmony, what you think, say, feel, and do is one. We are so accustomed to this split-screen state of mind in which we think one thing, say another, feel something else, and act in a way that has nothing to do with what we just thought, said, or felt. When your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions are not in harmony, it shows up as an imbalance -- you feel agitated, uncomfortable, you sense something is off, so you find it difficult to make rational, calm decisions. This is why these two qualities are a pair.
Quality 3: Courage
Courage is the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action.
Courage gives harmony expression. When your thoughts and feelings are one, courage helps you manifest them in the form of words and actions. When you are afraid to speak or act, courage helps you overcome your fear. Courage gives you the ability to speak your truth, even when it is not what others may want to hear.
Fear is usually what stands between us and our courage. But if we are to embrace this quality of courage to its fullest, we can no longer allow ourselves to hide behind fear. You can meditate on your fear and think about it rationally and try to will it away, but in the end, if fear is preventing you from acting, you must find your courage and act to overcome your fear.
Quality 4: Generosity
Generosity is when you give the right thing to the right person at the right time -- and it benefits both of you.
Generosity is a quality that most women can tap into very easily -- maybe too easily. As women, we tend to be overly generous with our time, support, love, and money -- but giving simply for the sake of giving does not match the definition of true generosity.
True generosity goes far beyond what you give to others. In giving there is a power, an understanding that you are just the vessel that wealth or energy flows through. You allow money to come in through your hands and out through your heart. To be empowered to give, to be moved to give straight from the heart, is a feeling that all the money in the world could never buy. So let me ask you: Is that how you feel when you constantly give of yourself? Do you feel enhanced or do you feel diminished? You think of yourself as a giver, as generous with your time, your talent, your money. Others probably describe you as a generous woman, but if I were to look at you, I might think you give for the wrong reasons. Do you give because you feel that you should? Do you give out of guilt or embarrassment? Understand that true generosity is as much about the one who gives as it is about the one who receives. If an act of generosity benefits the receiver but saps the giver, then it is not true generosity.
Quality 5: Happiness
Happiness is a state of well-being and contentment.
When you find the courage to live your life in harmony and balance, when you understand and practice generosity in the truest sense, happiness spontaneously appears. When you are happy, you are open and accessible. When you are happy, you tend to be more optimistic. You approach new challenges with a clear mind that seeks positive solutions. You see possibilities rather than problems.
Happiness is not a luxury. It is a necessity for true wealth. When you are happy, you have the satisfaction of knowing that your actions come from a place of purity and balance, that they are correct and generous and kind. There are no regrets in this state of happiness -- and that's a goal worth striving for in all areas of your life.
Quality 6: Wisdom
Wisdom is the knowledge and experience needed to make sensible decisions and judgments, or the good sense shown by the decisions and judgments made from an accumulated knowledge of life that has been gained through experience.
The quality of wisdom is more than intellectual, and it is in no way related to how much schooling you have. Exercising wisdom requires cutting through the noise of life and tapping into your core beliefs to make thoughtful decisions. Wisdom results from inhabiting all the qualities that came before it. A wise woman recognizes when her life is out of balance and summons the courage to act to correct it. A wise woman knows the meaning of true generosity. A wise woman knows happiness is the reward for a life lived in harmony, with courage and grace. A wise woman knows how to summon her courage and do what is right, rather than what is easy.
Quality 7: Cleanliness
Cleanliness is a state of purity, clarity, and precision.
Cleanliness is about respecting the importance of order and organization. When you don't know where your money is, when you have no filing system for your important documents, when you dive into your pocketbook to pull out crumpled bills, when your car looks like a garbage can, when your closets are filled with junk and clutter -- you cannot possibly be a wealthy woman. You need to clean up your act -- quite literally -- to bring true wealth into your life. In India, women sweep the front entrance to their home each morning as a way of welcoming Lakshmi, the goddess of material and spiritual abundance, into their home, for there is a belief that she resides at the threshold of every house. In order for her to enter, she must have a clear path.
You might be reading this and thinking that cleanliness is nice but not essential to your financial well-being. I am here to tell you that if this quality is not up front and center, wealth will elude you and you will be left with the mess that you created. Respect the power of this quality of cleanliness. Tell the universe that you have cleared the path for wealth and abundance to enter.
Quality 8: Beauty
Beauty is the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit.
Beauty is what you create when you incorporate the other seven qualities into your life. When you take the steps to have harmony, balance, courage, generosity, happiness, wisdom, cleanliness, and beauty in your life, you will exude confidence in who you are. And there is nothing more beautiful than a confident woman. Remember, when you are confident you feel secure, and when you feel secure you have no fear. And when you have no fear, you have the courage to say what you think and feel in a calm and wise way. And when you are calm, you make wise decisions with your money, which then allows you to be truly generous to others as well as yourself, which, in turn, makes you a happy, powerful, and beautiful woman. Do you see how all of these qualities work together to help you arrive at the goal of being a woman in control of her destiny?
Summoning the 8 Qualities
I've noticed, in my own life and in others', that the more you summon these qualities, the easier they are to access. Harmony yearns for more harmony, and balance abhors imbalance. Courage begets greater courage. Once you are generous in the right way, a lesser form of generosity will feel inferior to you. True happiness will never permit you to settle for a lesser form of happiness. Cleanliness recoils at disorder. Wisdom, once achieved, is with you forever, and beauty inspires beauty in all things.
Carry these qualities with you throughout your life. Write them on a notecard and keep them close at hand -- in your wallet or in your pocket. Make it into a talisman to guide you every day as you make your way through life and all its impossible demands. These qualities will keep you focused and tranquil. Let them and they will offer you constant reassurance that you are acting powerfully and correctly, with love in your heart and the purest intentions, to realize your goals of security and comfort for yourself and all you love.